sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
