Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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