Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
