My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Panties = found
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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