Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
