i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize