Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
