Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
