nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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