They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
