yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
