There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
