totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize