No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
