we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
