Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize