I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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