Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
