when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
