u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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