i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
