He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
