She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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