I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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