I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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