About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
