I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
