Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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