I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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