the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
