Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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