You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
