i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
