In America we eat man semen.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
