More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
