i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize