I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
