I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
