when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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