Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
