No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
