winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
