..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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