Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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