Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
