I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
