Where is the hickey?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
