well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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