Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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