my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
jump out the window naked night went bad
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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