o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
