If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
