I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
