Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
