I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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