Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
