Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize